Thursday, December 28, 2017

HILL BEAST


HILL BEAST
"'The beasts,' she said. 'These beasts we're on.'"
'What beasts?' It was like having a personal mosquito.
'These ones with the green fur,' she said and giggled. 'People think they're just hills, but they're beasts.'

"'That's why it feels warm,' said Leslie. Don't pull on its fur, Gramma. It might hurt it. 'Nen it'd get up. And spill us on the ground. And open its big mouth - and still out its great big teeth -'"

"There were no legs under the hills - there were dozens of legs under - there were wheels - squares -flickering, firefly glitters -"

"'And he had little eyes like the light inside the refrigerator - '"

Zenna Henderson, And A Little Child -
 Read Scott's blog post about this story here.


THE NOISE-EATER


THE NOISE-EATER

"'I made it. The Noise-eater. He's asleep now. Don't make a noise or he'll get you.'"

"'Well, he had a body like Mother's vacuum cleaner - the one that lies down on the floor - and his legs were like my sled, so he could slide on the floor, and had a nose like the hose on the cleaner only he was able to make it long or short when he wanted to.'"



"'And he had little eyes like the light inside the refrigerator - '"




Wednesday, December 27, 2017

THE DARK


THE DARK
"The Dark didn't have any head or arms or legs or body. It didn't have any eyes either, but it was looking at Stevie. It didn't have any mouth, but it was mumbling at Stevie."

"It poured in a thin stream through the open place in the magic and shot up like a tower of smoke."

"The Dark stood up behind the magic rocks and it had made itself look like Arnold only its eyes didn't match and it had forgotten one ear and it was freckled all over like Arnold's face."

"Its Arnold-face was all twisted and one eye was slipping down one cheek."

"'The Dark!' he whispered. 'The Dark. It got out. It got in Eddie!'"

"Eddie's mouth looked full of twisting darkness and Eddie's legs had learned how a donkey runs and Eddie could outrun Stevie andy day of the week."
Zenna Henderson, Stevie And the Dark




Wednesday, December 20, 2017

THE DARK CRUSADE PODCAST



I was a guest on an episode of the Karl Edward Wagner podcast The Dark Crusade about my favorite Wagner story Where The Summer Ends! AND IT JUST POSTED! I’m lucky enough to own copies of both of Wagner’s OOP collections (with covers by Barclay Shaw & J.K. Potter).

Friday, December 15, 2017

LUMINOUS WORM

LUMINOUS WORM
“Then he came to the brink; and there he saw a dreadful sight. In the water writhed large and luminous worms, that came sometimes up to the surface, as though to breathe, and sank again.” “In a moment the lantern was obscured as by the rush of 
bat-like wings.”
A.C. Benson, The Grey Cat


Tuesday, December 12, 2017

THE WATCHER

THE WATCHER
"It was a perfectly hairless head and face, the thin ilps were parted in a wide smile of laughter, there were innumerable lines about the corners of the mouth, and the eyes were surrounded by creases of merriment. What was perhaps most terrible about it all was that the eyes were not looking at me, but down among the leaves; the heavy eyelids lay drooping, and the long, narrow, shining slits showed how the eyes laughed beneath them. The forehead sloped quickly back, like a cat’s head. The face was the colour of earth, and the outlines of the head faded below the ears and chin into the gloom of the dark. There was no throat, or body or limbs so far as I could see."
R.H. Benson, The Watcher

Monday, December 11, 2017

PALE HORNED THING

PALE HORNED THING
“And out of the wood leaned a strange pale horned thing, very dim.”
A.C. Benson, The Slype House



Friday, December 8, 2017

SOLD OUT!!!



SOLD OUT!!!!
Thanks to everyone who bought a copy or tried to buy a copy of Yuletide Compendium II!

Thursday, December 7, 2017

DEMON CAT

DEMON CAT

"It was a great grey cat, with soft abundant fur, which turned its yellow eyes upon him lazily, purred, and licked his hand."

"Then the priest was aware of a strange and horrible thing' there sprang softly on the bed the form of the great grey cat, very lean and angry, which stood there, as though ready to spring upon the bird. Then the priest signed the cross and said 'In Nominae'; and as the holy words fell on the air, the cat looked fiercely on the bird,  but seemed to shrink into itself."
A.C. Benson, The Grey Cat

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

HOUND OF DEATH


HOUND OF DEATH
"The light, which came from an opening immediately above the image, showed a horned and bearded head, misshapen and grotesque."

"The figure of a thing, half-man half-goat, crouched as though to spring."



"His small head was laid back on his hairy shoulders, his little eyes gleamed wickedly, and his red mouth snarling fiercely."
A.C. Benson, The Temple Of Death

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

HIPPIE HAT BRAIN PARASITE

HIPPIE HAT BRAIN PARASITE
"'You've seen 'em yourself. Plenty. Wide stiff brim, high crown, cut out of a sheet of Tandy cowhide and laced together like a Boy's Life project. Get the picture?"


 "Those hats? Kind of Waylon Jennings cum L.A. pimp culture hats? Well, I can't say I've seen one lately, man."

 "Right! And it's too cold for the motherfuckers, up there, that's why! Add that to the evidence!" 


"What evidence, Merv? What motherfuckers?" "PARASITES," he whispers, "Alien fucking parasites..."

"PARASITES," he whispers, "Alien fucking parasites..." "Listen. This is crucial, man. You think those things are just, like, some stupid kind of hat, right? Maybe THE stupid kind of hat, and that's fucking brilliant. Last thing YOU'D be caught wearing, right? And it's people like you who pose the greatest threat, people with open minds, people who read my books. But I've finally SEEN one, man and I KNOW."



Legs. You said legs?" "Maybe a dozen, more. Kinda browny transparent. Ever see a scorpion that's gotten too big? They get kind of pale and waxy.

No eyes. I saw where the hat had had it's claws in, kinda puppet trip...'"
William Gibson, Hippie Hat Brain Parasite
Read Scott's blog post about this story here.



Tuesday, October 10, 2017

THE MONOLITH AND THE LADY OF DOVES II (NYARLATHOTEP)


THE MONOLITH AND THE LADY OF DOVES II (NYARLATHOTEP)


"She saw nothing but a flat tar-black thing dominating the middle of the space. The dark was rendered a bluish brown around it with the heavy stench of vegetation. She held her thumb to her phone, then swiped open the flashlight. The lens flared on but the light was swallowed at once—she saw it pulled out in an oblong smear and it was gone into the black slab."

"Soon the black mass eased out of its gloom and she saw it was a monolith, reaching close to the mossy ceiling. A 2001ish thing, but malformed at its edges. Carol leaned around its side and there was Shanice, on her knees and elbows in the dirt, folded over in supplication with her hands covering her face."
Michael Wehunt, The Loved One



THE MONOLITH AND THE LADY OF DOVES I (NYARLATHOTEP)


THE MONOLITH AND THE LADY OF DOVES I (NYARLATHOTEP)"The light strengthened through the hole and Carol realized Shan was on top of something coming out of the earth. A blank white figure lifting its arms wide, strips of pale flesh unfurling from them like cerements. Long legs bent along dozens of segments, knees popping, cartilage groaning. Shan’s lower body sloped down around the figure’s shoulders."
“'Shan!' she screamed, but still her wife kept her hands clapped over her eyes. Carol knew it wasn’t her, not anymore. It had been, so recently, but she was now nothing more than the living hair of this thing. A stole. A trophy. The figure’s flat round face opened like petals to reveal nothing until the wiry black ropes of the monolith began to flow into it. The creature bulged. Finally Shanice’s hands fell away, dangling beside the opening above the thing’s neck, and Carol saw the face they had been hiding. It was the face of the old woman back in the hallway. It was Shanice’s face. It was Carol’s. In the end it was dozens of gray hatched birds, stretching their mouths open, pining to be fed."
Michael Wehunt, The Loved One

Thursday, September 14, 2017

GARDINEL

GARDINEL
“They look some way like a shed or cabin, snug and rightly made, except the open door might could be a mouth, the two little windows could be eyes. Never you'll see one on the main roads or near towns; only back in the thicketty places, by high trails among tall ridges, and they show themselves there when it rains and storms and a lone farer hopes to come to a house to shelter him. ... The few that's lucky enough to have gone into a gardinel and win out again... tell that inside it's pinky-walled and dippy-floored, with on the floor all the skulls and bones of those who never did win-out; and from the floor and walls come spouting rivers of wet juice that stings. ... and all at once you know that inside a gardinel is like a stomach.”
Manly Wade Wellman, Why They’re Named That

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

CULVERIN

CULVERIN
"But, just ahead of him, the Culverin hoved itself half into sight on its many legs. It pointed its needle-shaped mouth and spit a pebble. I heard the pebble ring on Mr. Yandro's head."
Manly Wade Wellman, The Desrick On Yandro


Tuesday, September 12, 2017

KALU


KALU
"And then: 'Bones, yes - something like man-bones, but bigger and thicker, also something like bear-bones, or big ape-bones from a foreign land. And a rotten light to them. So I was for a moment that the bones weren't empty. Inside the ribs were caged puffy things, like guts and lungs and maybe a heart that skipped and wriggled. The skull had a snout like I can't say what, and in its eye-holes burned blue-green fire.'"

Manly Wade Wellman, Nine Yards Of Cloth


This monster will be available in the Appalachian Compendium
ON SALE THIS FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 15TH 11AM EST

Monday, September 11, 2017

DJIBAW


DJIBAW
"All blotchy and green and brown with a white belly and a wet smoothness, it was a frog. But it was bigger than a man by twice, I suppose." “You think of him as what we call a djibaw, and evil spirit. We think of him as a part of nature, that defends nature's weak things.”
Manly Wade Wellman, Frogfather


Sunday, September 10, 2017

News...


This week my Manly Wade Wellman themed monster zine will go on sale! Limited to 20! I'll be posting a monster from the zine Monday-Thursday before the sale!

AVAILABLE THIS FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 15TH 11AM EST
IN THE YOG-BLOGSOTH STORE!
LIMITED TO 20!

Also if you didn't make it out to NecronomiCon you can listen to our live presentation of 
Stories From The Borderland on The Outer Dark. Click here and jump to the 1hour 26minute mark to hear myself, Jeanne D'Angelo, Scott Nicolay and Anya Martin talk about this cool project!

There's also a youtube slide show you can watch along with our talk that you can get here!

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

BUNYIP


BUNYIP
"The Bunyip is said to be an amphibious animal, and is variously described: sometimes as a gigantic snake; sometimes as a species of rhinoceros, with a smooth pulpy skin and a head like that of a calf; sometimes as a huge pig, its body yellow, crossed with black stripes."


"He was of a brownish colour, with a head something the shape of a kangaroo, an enormous mouth, apparently furnished with a formidable set of teeth, long neck, covered with a shaggy mane which reached halfway down his back; his hind quarters were under water, so that we could not get a full view of him, but if one may judge by what was seen, his weight must be fully equal to that of a very large bullock."

"The moon was dim for a moment or two. Nobody spoke, we pressed up the ridge side, then a hoarse smothered ejaculation burst from Long Charlie's lips, and as he spoke the moon shone forth again, and he shifted his lantern so that its gleam fell athwart the white prostrate form and upon a snake, brown and shiny and scaly and horrible, which uncoiled itself, and with a swift, wavy motion disappeared into the depths of the scrub."
Rosa Praed, The Bunyip

Friday, August 25, 2017

NECRONOMICON 2017 WRAP-UP!

This year's NecronomiCon was, by far, the best yet. So many amazing speakers, talented artists and genuinely kind-hearted friends. 

I got to meet/hang out (and sometimes see read) with authors/editors Craig Gidney, Scott Nicolay, Anya Martin, Livia Llewellyn, Simon Strantzas, Justin Steele, Sam Cowan, Nnedi Okorafor, Peter Straub, Michael Wehunt, Matthew Bartlett, Peter Rawlik, Cody Goodfellow, Gemma Files, Nadia Bulkin, Scott R. Jones, Robert Levy, Jeffrey Thomas, Scott Gable, Mike Griffin, Paul Tremblay, Kij Johnson and the legendary Ellen Datlow.

Then there were the amazingly talented artists like Richard Stanley, Skinner, John Kenn Mortensen, Yves Tourigny, Nick Gucker, Liv Rainey-Smith, Karen Main (aka Dogzilla), Kyla, Sage & James Quigley, Josh Yelle, Dave Felton, Todd Chicoine, Brian Elig, and so many more.

(To give you an idea of the scale of this thing, I didnt even catch a passing glance of Stephen Graham Jones or John Jude Palencar. I love both their work and tried to see them!)

I want to thank my Seventh Church Ministries siblings Jeanne D'Angelo, Justine Jones, Stephen Wilson and Marcelo Gallegos (and occasionally Cameron Higby-Naquin) for making our table the coolest/loudest/most sprawling in the vendor room! I want to also thank Victoria Dalpe, Phil Gelatt and Roman for letting us stay in the their house and stink it up with farts with Jordan, Laura, Joe &. And lastly the friends/organizers Niels Hobbs, s.j. bagley, Farah Rose, Catherine Grant for tirelessly planning an impossibly amazing convention.


BUT, if you couldn't attend this fantastic gathering and you still want one of or all three of the zines I released then good news! I'll be putting them up for sale a week at a time starting next week. To make it easier, I'll be starting with a three pack.



You'll be able to grab, Volume 1 of Stories From the Borderland, Mappaemundi Compendium & Appalachian Compendium
ON FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 1st AT 11AM EST
IN THE YOG-BLOGSOTH STORE!
 

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

REVERSE TWIN


REVERSE TWIN
“This buck is your reverse twin. he will haunt you until you remove your skin and hands as a screaming, broken man.” “When you’re at the store and suddenly remember your bones belong to your own reverse twin.” 

Chuck Tingle, @chucktingle


Tuesday, July 25, 2017

SENTIENT CLONED WIENER

SENTIENT CLONED WEINER
“You didn't tell me you'd make a copy of my dick from a parallel universe!' I 
counter."

'”Well put me back!' yells the midsection. 'I can't even move like this, I've got no body! I'm just hips and a dick!”

“’Listen, it's too dangerous to send you back, I'm very sorry,' says Tomp. 'What I can do is build you a nice set of mechanical wings so you can fly around.'”
Chuck Tingle, Kissed On the Wiener By My Own Wiener


Thursday, July 20, 2017

VOID WORM

VOID WORM
"The most common type of worm in The Void is about the size of a human arm, and resembles a tentacle that you would find connected to a large squid. These creatures appear so similar to the appendages of our ocean dwelling friends, in fact, that they are often referred to as tentacles 
themselves, although this is technically incorrect because they do not 
connect to a larger beast.” 

“Along the bottom of these worms are several rows of suction cups that are used for gripping, moving, and feeding on the souls of the suffering and disenfranchised.”
Chuck Tingle, Dr. Chuck Tingle’s Complete Guide To the Void


Wednesday, July 19, 2017

OTHERWORLDLY BEAST

OTHERWORLDLY BEAST
"Seconds later, I see a rather large beast emerging from the 
shadows. I stumble back in terror as I find myself face to face with a handsome, yet terrifying, velociraptor who sports a 
flower for a head."

“The massive beast steps forward, allowing an enormous, 
hardening cock to spring out from his scaly body. I can tell exactly what he wants me to do just from the look on his prehistoric flower face, and I’m happy to oblige.” 
Chuck Tingle, Stranger Pounds


Tuesday, July 18, 2017

VOID CRAB

VOID CRAB
“Void Crabs are similar in appearance to the lake crabs you might find on this layer of reality, although their shells are jet black and their claws are slightly larger. Along with these external differences, Void Crabs contain no internal organs to speak of, powered entirely by a thick, tarlike substance that fills their shell.”
Chuck Tingle, Dr. Chuck Tingle’s Complete Guide To the Void


Friday, July 14, 2017

HANDSOME UNICORN


HANDSOME UNICORN
“The unicorn colonel sits atop his powerful steed in full uniform, looking up at me as I gaze down at him. He’s just as handsome as the painting that hangs downstairs, and despite my best efforts I almost immediately find myself just as aroused as I am afraid."

“I can feel the colonel’s hoof hands press gently on the back of my head and hold me there, hesitating, as if he’s still not entirely sure that he wants to commit to this favor 
for a ghostly friend.”
Chuck Tingle, My Ass Is Haunted By the Gay Unicorn Colonel


Thursday, July 13, 2017

GAY LIVING DONUT


GAY LIVING DONUT
“The next thing I know, a handsome, floating donut is approaching me from either side. The pastries are absolutely gorgeous, muscular and toned with massive dicks hanging down from their frosted, 
circular bodies." ”Two floating donuts approach me with their cocks in their tiny baked hands, beating off and looking down at my fit body as it lies contorted below them.”
Chuck Tingle, Glazed By the Gay Living Donuts

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

MAN WITH NO EYES AND WIENERS FOR HAIR

MAN WITH NO EYES AND WIENERS FOR HAIR*
“The Man With No Eyes And Wieners For Hair is a devil who can travel directly from the depths of The Void to any layer of The 
Tingleverse with almost no effort, making him one of the most 
terrifying creatures that any buckaroo could have the 
misfortune to encounter.”
Chuck Tingle, Dr. Chuck Tingle’s Complete Guide To the Void

*EDITORS NOTE: Because The Man With No Eyes And Wieners For Hair draws his power from others thinking about him, please do not look at the above image. If you happen to find yourself looking at the above image, at least refrain from thinking about The Man With No Eyes And Wieners For Hair.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

SNAKE-BAT HYBRID

SNAKE-BAT HYBRID
“The government couldn't afford to pay the Queen's Guards 
anymore so we used these unfinished snake and bat hybrids that MI5 
has been developing.”
Chuck Tingle, Pounded By the Pound


Thursday, June 29, 2017

News...


I know it's been a slow year at Yog-blogsoth so far, but I promise things will pick up. One of the reason's things have been so slow is that I've been working on a few commission pieces. Here's one that I just got the go-ahead to reveal. It's the cover for a horror-fiction anthology titled Zombie Punks Fuck Off! Here's a quote from the publisher:

"
As you may know, I run a press called Weirdpunk Books. Well, we are hard at work on our next project, Zombie Punks Fuck Off, edited by the brilliant Sam Richard. Here's the cover by the rad Michael Bukowski. This won't be out until the fall, but you can preorder now at http://freaktension.storenvy.com/. And yes, you can use the discount code."


I've also been slowly getting ready for NecronomiCon 2017! That means printing business cards, stickers and getting new zines ready! I plan on debuting a bunch of new zines at this years 'Con including a mini-Illustro Obscurum based on the works of Manly Wade Wellman, a collection of the first series of Stories From the Borderland with Scott Nicolay and finally...after a lonnnng time Volume IX of Illustro Obscurum!

Check back in to get additional details like cover reveals and where my table will be at NecronomiCon.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

SYMBIOTIC PSYCHIC BEETLE

SYMBIOTIC PSYCHIC BEETLE
"I clambered up quickly, to see the largest black beetle I had ever experienced staring placidly down at me from its perch inside the cherub's mouth."

"It was an awesome specimen, big as a field mouse, with a brace of bristling antennae which it waved menacingly at me. "

"'The bug is simply a large black beetle and nothing more!'"

"'You'd better shut up and leave me alone! All I have to do is tell him and h'ell tear your head off.'"

"'Don't bother with that. you won't see him. You can't even touch him. But he can get you.'  Edward chuckled."

"I did not hear Edward's report, for I, too had heard the sleigher, sliding thump down the staircase as if some giant six-legged bull were descending. 

"Whatever it was that Edward's mind had summoned to work his vengeance had disappeared the moment this brain had ceased to function."

"Quickly, I shone my light through the black hole of its neck, where I saw two stubby antennae, bristling and waving furiously at me. The bug was curled back into the recess of the head as far from me as possible."


"Quickly, I recovered my blow and began beating the black beetle madly."
Linda Thornton, The Inhabitant Of the Pond
Read Scott's blog post about this story here.



Saturday, April 1, 2017

THAT THING THAT ATE CROW

THAT THING THAT ATE CROW
Tom: Now look what you made me do. 

Mike: I didn't make you...Cambot, gimme Rocket Number Nine 

Tom: An innocent creature! 

Crow: Oh I'll get it you big babies. 

Tom: One of god's children Mike, and if it's dead I'll never forgive myself you letting you make me kill it. 

Mike: I know, I know... 

Crow: Hey, hey it's alive, it's alive! 

Mike: Hey look at him, he likes you. 

Crow: Isn't that darling...get away now. 

Tom: Can we keep 'im, can we keep him Mike, huh?! 

Mike: Well...I dunno I think we better release him back into the wild. 


Wednesday, January 25, 2017

News...

Sorry for the silence this last month, but I've been super busy with commission work. I just finished the cover for Scott Nicolay's translation of J.-H. Rosny aîné's The Xipéhuz! 

https://lastchanceillustration.wordpress.com/book-covers/the-xipehuz/


I also just finished an overhaul of my illustration website. You can find more info on my cover for The Xipéhuz, as well as years worth of archives, at the new Last Chance Illustration site

I'm also excited to say that I only have a single H.P. Lovecraft creature remaining to complete my Illustro Obscurum project....and it's a biggie! Expect it soon, along with a few redrawings of older dudes. As to the future of this blog, don't worry. I'll continue to illustrate monsters and gods from other weird fiction authors once Lovecraft is finished.